Save us Will Smith

The following is a quick 700 word flash fiction story. The submission call was looking for emails sent during a zombie invasion, and needed to be in actual email format. Initially I had looked over this anthology and the company publishing it altogether, but the seed was planted and this tongue in cheek story of one obsessed fan mostly wrote itself. Unfortunately, shortly after writing and submitting the story, the anthology was cancelled, and in turn the company folded. It appears my original assessment was correct, but at least now you get to read it for free, enjoy.

Save us Will Smith

Alex Azar

To: Will Smith (the.man@willsmith.com)

From: Carl “#1 Fan” Tucker (1wsmithfan@qmail.com)

Mr. Smith, I know you’ve ignored my emails in the past, thinking me as just a crazed fan. And I am one, one among many.

This time however, I’m not writing about my movie idea (which I still think you’d be perfect for), but I’m not sure if you’ve noticed in your presumably lavish California mansion, but we in New Jersey are experiencing the first State-side signs of the zombie virus that plagued the UK.

I’m only bothering you because I know you’ve dealt with these kinds of things before, and you are a ‘Legend’ at it (yes, pun intended). I would have called your agent again, but the phones haven’t been working for a few days, and I’m piggybacking off of a neighbor’s Wi-Fi, and honestly, I’m scared of Jada.

I thought about emailing Bruce Campbell, but he laughed at my last movie pitch for him, so I blacklisted him, as if he has so much on his plate. You can read about it in my blog at… you know the site by now.

Oh right, the zombies. Well they’ve gotten my sister (no big lose there) but my parents are very upset about it, and are begging me to leave my room and join them. But I’ve seen the movies, I know the second I open my door, either my parents will turn, or some other zombies will break into the apartment. No thanks. I’ve got a month’s supply of Mountain Dew and PopTarts before I have to resort to my secret stash of Camo beer and beef jerky. I trust by that time, you’ll have come and saved us.

We're still not sure how the plague spread across the 'pond', but we know it started at the Jersey shore. From there it spread quicker than herpes at a frat party. New York City quickly cut off the bridges and tunnels saving the city, and the National Guard has prevented anyone from leaving. Oddly enough they're still allowing people to enter Jersey, but there never was a high amount of visitors here in the first place.

Still, even with those precautions we have to assume the zombies will breach the borders. It's that thought process that I'm trying to reason with you. If you could help us here and now, and prevent this from spreading, it'll be easier than having to save the whole country, and waiting for them to reach California.

Also, do you remember my girlfriend? I mentioned her in a couple of emails, well she hasn't been answering my emails, and I haven't talked to her in a while so I'm getting a little worried. I know she never answered my emails, or voice mails, or DM's, or texts, but now something might actually be wrong. Her last Facebook post was “OMG zombies :*(” I don't know if they got her or if she's safe. I was hoping you could check on her on your way to Jersey since she lives close to the border of Pennsylvania.

I don't want to bother you anymore, but one more thing. If the zombies have taken over New Jersey, there's going to be a lot of them. People underestimate how large of a population Jersey has. I was thinking maybe you should bring some help. I have a list of people I think are specially qualified for this situation. In no particular order;

Ving Rhames, Milla Jovovich, Woody Harrelson, and Simon Pegg should round out the team nicely. If Rose McGowan still has that machine gun leg, she'd fit perfectly, plus I don't think she's too busy nowadays anyway. And I guess if you think we need more help, I can remove Bruce Campbell from the blacklist.

I'd email all these people myself, but I think you'd have bigger sway since you are Will Smith after all. Plus, I don't know how much longer I'll have access to the Wi-Fi, and I need to post this email on my blog.

I can't wait to finally see you again, I assume the restraining order is null in lieu of the zombie apocalypse? Cool, thanks.

Your biggest fan,

Carl 'Agent C' Tucker

By,
Alex Azar



As a side note, I had originally conceived this story with the fan writing to Bruce Campbell as mentioned in this final take, however I recalled a comic/TV movie that he had done that was along a similar premise. I then began of thinking of other actors who've fought zombies in movies, and for whatever reason I chose Will Smith. Other actors I had thought of were all mentioned in 'Carl's' email: Ving Rhames (Dawn of the Dead), Milla Jovovich (The Resident Evil series), Woody Harrelson (Zombieland) and Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead)